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The Politics Of Inter-Racial Relationships In Asian America

November 17, 2018October 27, 2017 by admin

Last week a reader left a comment on the post about Euna Lee and Laura Ling that expressed surprise at seeing the white male husbands of Lee and Ling and noted that seeing such pairings can lead to "ANGRY ASIAN MEN."

So I wanted to talk, today, about specific inter-racial pairings, namely those of white men with Asian American women.

[Caveat: I am, for today's post, limiting my discussion to the politics of inter-racial relationships among heterosexual couples. There are dynamics and politics involved in queer inter-racial relationships, esp. among gay men with phrases like "rice queen" getting invoked to describe certain preferences/fetishization (word choice depends on where you fall in the debate) of Asian men by white men, but since the commenter was discussing ANGRY ASIAN MEN in the context of Ling and Lee's inter-racial marriages, I wanted to contain my comments to this...

Interpersonal Relationships And Irrationality As Predictors Of Life Satisfaction

November 17, 2018October 27, 2017 by admin

Abstract

This study examined the association among interpersonal relationships, irrational beliefs, and life satisfaction. Twenty-eight psychotherapy clients and 207 college undergraduates completed measures of interpersonal relations (Outcome Questionnaire; Lambert et al., 1996Lambert, MJ, Burlingame, GM, Umphress, V, Hansen, NB, Vermeersch, DAClouse, GC. 1996. The reliability and validity of the Outcome Questionnaire. Clinical Psychology and Psychotherapy, 3: 249–258.[Crossref], [Web of Science ®], [Google Scholar]), irrationality (Rational Behavior Inventory; Shorkey & Whiteman, 1977Shorkey, CT and Whiteman, VL. 1977. Development of the Rational Behavior Inventory: Initial validity and reliability. Educational and Psychological Measurement, 37: 527–534. [Google Scholar]), and life satisfaction (The Satisfaction with Life Scale; Diener, Emmons, Larsen, & Griffin, 1985Diener, E, Emmons, R, Larsen, R and Griffin, S. 1985. The Satisfaction with Life Scale. Journal of Personality Assessment, 49: 71–75.[Taylor & Francis Online], [Web of Science ®], [Google Scholar]). Results indicated that interpersonal...

When You Say Nothing at All: Non-Disclosure in Intimate Relationships

February 20, 2019October 27, 2017 by admin

Abstract

8 interviews and 2 groups of ginabayang talakayan revealed the range of motivations/intentions that increased the probability of non-disclosure of a significant other in an intimate heterosexual relationship and the range of reactions elicited by the non-disclosure. The researchers also looked into the possible topics that were often not disclosed. We found that the range of motivations for non-disclosure, largely based on the anticipated consequences after disclosure, could be classified into three depending on who will benefit: a) self-centered non-disclosure; b) other-oriented non-disclosure; and c) kapwa-oriented non-disclosure. To put this range of motivations into context, a cognitive model, which suggests the steps a discloser goes through in deciding whether to disclose or not, was posited. Finally, the benefits of non-disclosure in increasing the level of intimacy in a relationship, with emphasis on the shared identity of the two people involved in the,,,

Perverse Relationships: The Perspective Of The Perpetrator.

November 17, 2018October 27, 2017 by admin

Abstract

The author examines the theme of perverse relationships within the couple, focusing on the question of men's maltreatment of their female partners, particularly in the psychological sense. Various aspects of the perpetrator's personality and relational style are described. The author takes as her starting point and discusses in depth the concepts of 'narcissistic perversion' (Racamier, 1992) and 'relational perversion' (Pandolfi, 1999), considered useful for understanding and identifying this type of pathology. She postulates that maltreating behaviour, in fact, originates from the encounter of particularly non-empathic relational styles which are typical of certain personalities (mainly, but not exclusively, of the narcissistic disorder) with 'perversity', that is, perversion, understood as a character trait. The author makes a distinction between 'relational perversion' and 'sado-masochistic relationship', and presents a clinical picture deriving from the analysis of a man who maltreats his companion,... . .

Memory Bias In Long-term Close Relationships: Consistency Or Improvement?

November 17, 2018October 27, 2017 by admin

Abstract

How do partners in long-term relationships construct memories of the past? The current study examined 20 years of retrospective and longitudinal data from a sample of wives to evaluate two possible answers to this question. Findings indicate that wives invoke different theories of the past at different stages of life. At 10 years into the study, wives’ memories of the past were negatively biased, such that present ratings seemed a significant improvement. At 20 years into the study, wives’ memories of the past continued to be negatively biased; however, at this stage, recollections of the past resembled current perceptions. Across both intervals, concurrent ratings in fact declined significantly. Longitudinal analyses revealed that the degree of bias in wives’ memories at Time 2 predicted the course of their marital satisfaction over the subsequent 10 years. These results support the view that...

Are Age Gap Relationships Better For Women?

November 17, 2018October 27, 2017 by admin

As usual when an age-gap relationship ends, the demise of the Amanda Holden-Les Dennis marriage (17 years between them) was met with a loud chorus of 'I-told-you-so'.

It doesn't seem to matter how wise we all are to the fact that age-gap relationships are unlikely to last; there will always be plenty of couples with a generation or more between them who want to give it a go.

Perhaps most interesting at the end of the Amanda-Les partnership was how differently they reacted.

She was seen out and about with girlfriends, partying, shopping, looking radiant. He disappeared to spend time with friends, presumably to lick his wounds in private.

All this seems to indicate that age-gap relationships have very different effects on men and women.

Do the sexes expect - and get - different benefits from being...

Inhibiting Self-Protection in Romantic Relationships Automatic Partner Attitudes as a Resource for Low Self-Esteem People

November 17, 2018October 27, 2017 by admin

Abstract

A daily diary study of married couples tested the hypothesis that automatic partner attitudes regulate self-protection for low, but not high, self-esteem people. For 14 days both partners reported trust in the other’s caring and perceived and actual rejecting and selfish behavior. On days after low self-esteem people reported less trust in their partner’s caring, those with more positive automatic partner attitudes perceived their partner to be less rejecting and selfish. They also engaged in less rejecting and selfish behavior toward their partner and their partner engaged in less selfish and rejecting behavior toward them. The current findings present the first evidence that automatic partner attitudes may help low self-esteem people inhibit the rejection sensitivity and distancing behaviors that too often undermine their relationships.

The Neuroscience of Relationship Breakups

November 17, 2018October 26, 2017 by admin

An unexpected and unwanted breakup can cause considerable psychological distress. You may feel as if you have been kicked in the stomach or blindsided and knocked down. Feelings of rejection and self-doubt are common, as is the feeling of being stuck and unable to let go, even when one wants to. Friends and family may push you to get over it and move on, yet brain research suggests this can be very difficult to do, at least in the first few months.

Breakups and the Brain

The research on relationship breakups in unmarried people (generally college students) gives us some clues as to why these events are so subjectively painful. Studies using functional magnetic resonance imaging (fMRI) brain scans show activity in several specific brain areas when rejected individuals see pictures of their ex-partners. Researcher Edward Smith, a cognitive neuroscientist at Columbia University...

Terminating the Treatment Relationship

November 17, 2018October 26, 2017 by admin

This ongoing column is dedicated to providing information to our readers on managing legal risks associated with medical practice. We invite questions from our readers. The answers are provided by PRMS, Inc. (www.prms.com), a manager of medical professional liability insurance programs with services that include risk management consultation, education and onsite risk management audits, and other resources to healthcare providers to help improve patient outcomes and reduce professional liability risk. The answers published in this column represent those of only one risk management consulting company. Other risk management consulting companies or insurance carriers may provide different advice, and readers should take this into consideration. The information in this column does not constitute legal advice. For legal advice, contact your personal attorney...

Relationship Themes in Suicide Notes

November 17, 2018October 26, 2017 by admin

Years ago I worked in a psychiatric emergency room in a large metropolitan hospital. My job consisted of evaluating a steady stream of patients to determine whether they should be hospitalized or sent elsewhere.

I saw people in the throes of mania, psychosis and suicidal depression. I still remember the man who asked if I was a witch who would place a spell on him. And the woman who came barreling at me down the hallway, warning, “You best get out of my way, or I’m going to go Ninja Turtle on your ass!” I remember the man who swallowed six bedsprings in a suicide attempt. And countless others with bandaged wrists, bruised necks, and broken souls. I learned a lot about the breadth and depth of human suffering.

One day I was waxing philosophical about suicide with one of the charge...

The Relationship Triangle

November 17, 2018October 26, 2017 by admin

This is a useful way of looking at relationships, and I use this in all my work with couples both as a way of seeing where they are, but also where they need to go. It is based on the Drama Triangle, also known as the Karpman Triangle, which was developed by psychiatrist Steven Karpman in the in the early 1970's. What follows in my interpretation and expansion on Karpman's original ideas.

Begin by imagining or drawing an upside down triangle (Do it now, it will help). At the top are two letter, P on the left had side, R on the right. At the bottom, the tip of the triangle is the letter V.

The triangle represents the relationship between two people. The P, R, and V represent different roles that the people can play; it is not the people themselves, but a role.''

Coaching Forgiveness To The Grudge-holding Child

November 17, 2018October 26, 2017 by admin

A parent writes: Our nine year old is forever holding grudges against friends and family. How can we coach him to be more forgiving?

One of the many challenges that confront children is inevitably woven into peer and family relationships: forgiving those who have done wrong. Mistakes and disappointments committed by others find their way into every child's life, giving way to various emotions and behaviors. Some children firmly hold on to blaming indignation as if to punish the person who is at fault. This can go too far and ripple through other relationships, spreading negativity and leaving the offended child appearing petulant and unreasonable.

If your child finds forgiveness hard to come by, consider these coaching tips to help change your grudge-holder into a forgiver:

If your child is to listen with an open mind, start the discussion when your child is not holding a grudge....

Child Murder by Mothers: A Critical Analysis of the Current State of Knowledge and a Research Agenda

November 17, 2018October 26, 2017 by admin

Abstract

OBJECTIVE: Maternal filicide, or child murder by mothers, occurs more frequently in the United States than in other developed nations. However, little is known about factors that confer risk to children. The authors review the literature to identify predictors of maternal filicide and identify gaps in knowledge about maternal filicide.

METHOD: Databases were systematically searched for studies of maternal filicide and neonaticide (murder in the first day of life) that were conducted in industrialized countries and were published in peer-reviewed, English-language publications after 1980.

RESULTS:Women who committed filicide varied greatly by the type of sample studied. Neonaticide was often committed by young, poor, unmarried women with little or no prenatal care.

CONCLUSIONS: The results of the review suggest that little is known about the predictors of maternal filicide and that a systematic, focused program of research on reliable markers for maternal filicide is

Justice For Victims Of Spouse Abuse In Divorce And Child Custody Cases.

November 17, 2018October 26, 2017 by admin

Abstract

Unequal power positions and domination-subordination roles of battering husbands and battered wives during marriage contaminate the process of separation and divorce. These dynamics may continue long after the marriages cease. Risks of extreme violence, rape, and homicide are highest when victims seek freedom. Because both victims and abusers construct a veil of secrecy while married, even if abused wives disclose the violence during the separation process, there may be nothing to substantiate their claims. Restraining orders often fail to restrain obsessed husbands; other husbands may get revenge by using their children as pawns. Attitudes favoring fathers' rights and joint custody may help win unfair financial advantages, and/or continued control over victims after divorce. Mandatory mediation in some states may give abusers additional advantages. Although some of these problems are being addressed with mechanisms to ameliorate them, the need to recognize problems facing...

What To Do If I Am Separated, Pregnant With Another Man’s Child And Want A Divorce?

November 17, 2018October 26, 2017 by admin

Question Details: I left my husband 3 years ago and since, both my ex and I have moved on and had no contact but we never divorced. We are not legally separated; we just don't have anything to do with each other. I became involved with someone else 2 years ago and moved to another state last year. My boyfriend has always known that I'm still married to my ex but that it is nothing but a meaningless piece of paper. My ex is also in a relationship with another woman. I am now 7 months pregnant but since I am still married to my ex, I want to know how I can get a no hassle uncontested divorce (which I know my ex will agree to). I want to be able to put my boyfriend's name on the birth certificate without issue, as he is the rightful father...

History Of Child Sexual Abuse And Adult Sexual Fantasies

November 17, 2018October 26, 2017 by admin

Abstract

The study investigated the hypothesis that women with a history of childhood sexual abuse would report different sexual fantasies from women with no childhood sexual abuse. Women with a history of abuse had more force in their fantasies, had more sexually explicit fantasies, began having sexual fantasies at a younger age, and had more fantasies with the theme of being under someone's control. Women with a history of childhood physical abuse did not have a similar pattern. It was suggested that the sexual fantasies may reflect the sexualizing effect of childhood sexual experiences and that fantasies of the abusive experience may become intrusive.