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Betrayal | Rejection | Revenge

Betrayal, Rejection, Revenge, and Forgiveness: An Interpersonal Script Approach

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Introduction

Throughout recorded human history, treachery and betrayal have been considered amongst the very worst offences people could commit against their kith and kin. Dante, for example, relegated traitors to the lowest and coldest regions of Hell, to be forever frozen up to their necks in a lake of ice with blizzards storming all about them, as punishment for having acted so coldly toward others. Even today, the crime of treason merits the most severe penalties, including capital punishment. However, betrayals need not involve issues of national security to be regarded as serious. From sexual infidelity to disclosing a friend’s secrets, betraying another person or group of people implies unspeakable disloyalty, a breach of trust, and a violation of what is good and proper. Moreover, all of us will suffer both minor and major betrayals throughout our lives, and most of us will, if only unwittingly, betray others (Jones & Burdette, 1994).

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Understanding and Ameliorating Revenge Fantasies in Psychotherapy

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Nature of the Problem

In evaluating and treating stress response syndromes, including posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD), clinicians may encounter intrusive and persistent thoughts of vengeance associated with feelings of rage at perpetrators (1 – 3) . The inciting stressors can be injuries, rape, mugging, rejection, divorce, physical abuse, insulting criticism, deliberate neglect, or betrayal of promises. Symptomatic revengefantasies go beyond normal bitter thoughts; they are unwanted, uncontrollable, dangerous, or intensely evocative of shame or guilt. Revenge fantasies also may permeate the thinking of people with paranoid traits when they feel under stress.

Revenge fantasies are common but not specific to PTSD, complicated grief, or other stress response syndromes. The patient may expect to be judged critically for such hostility and may not divulge the fantasies. Direct questions may open the door to disclosure. Revenge fantasies may even include rage at the self and lead to suicidality.

Revenge fantasies have been discussed in the literature on PTSD (1 , 4 , 5)...

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