Infidelity & E-mails

First, let me say that I think the job of a psychiatrist is to be helpful. I want my patients to do well, in a way not dissimilar, I think, from the way someone might feel towards a brother. I am anxious that my patients not get into trouble. I will not, of course, facilitate behavior that I think is frankly illegal or plainly likely to hurt other people; but I try not to sit in judgment. Sometimes, I find myself trying to rescue my patients from the consequences of behavior that I do not necessarily condone. Infidelity falls into this category.

Infidelity causes pain and trouble in a marriage, but to a varying degree. There is an effect, for example, on the unfaithful person, himself/herself, who is thrust into a pattern of lying and deceit which undermines self-respect. There are numerous other effects on other members of the family and, for...