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Passion, Humiliation, Revenge: Hatred in Man-Woman Relationships in the 19th and 20th Century Russian Novel by Irina Lapidus

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This book reveals the phenomenon in Russian prose in which a male protagonist finds himself perpetuating a cycle of passion, humiliation, and revenge within his relationships with women. By examining the mental and emotional state of the male protagonist who finds himself in a sexual situation, Rina Lapidus explores how his passion for a woman leads the man into an encounter that causes him humiliation and ends up eliciting a powerful desire on his part to punish the woman who initially arouses his erotic feeling. The male protagonist directs his fury at the woman, seeking vengeance because of the shame he has suffered.

Lapidus shows how the man sees himself as a highly spiritual being and finds it difficult to comes to terms with his sexual nature. The author argues that this denial of desire leads the man to take out his...

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Bias And Accuracy In Close Relationships: An Integrative Review

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Abstract

Intimates typically are positively biased in their relationship evaluations. Given this fact, how can intimates regulate their esteem needs about their relationships and still function effectively, without risking later regret and disappointment? We address this issue by first reviewing work showing that because bias and accuracy are independent, they can co-exist. We next show how bias and accuracy are subject to different evaluative motives, relationship evaluations, and situations. It is argued that the pursuit of important goals is a time when people are motivated to feel good about their relationships. This is a time when relationship judgments are positively biased and relatively inaccurate. However, important choice points in the relationship are times when people are motivated to both accurately understand their relationships and to feel good about their relationships. These dual needs can be simultaneously met by becoming more accurate....

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Ambush Dating: Unraveling the Mystery that All Started with a Big Bang!

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If you’re familiar with The Big Bang Theory, you’ve probably found yourself pondering the attraction between Leonard and Penny. Seriously, how did a geeky scientist and a Cheesecake Factory hottie ever find themselves together? For a show focused on evolutionary principles, their union always brings to my mind the lyrics, “Is she really going out with him?” or at least leads me to anticipate one of Sheldon’s well-timed, sarcastic taunts of “Bazinga!” My personal explanation…the Ambush Date!

What is an “ambush date”, and why have you never heard of it? Well, I made up the expression. I do that sometimes when there isn’t scientific terminology to explain a real experience, particularly one as intriguing as the dating equivalent of a flash mob. Although the name may be new, you are probably familiar with the experience. Or, perhaps you’ve even been ambushed....

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When Friends & Family Disapprove of Your Relationship: Is the “Romeo & Juliet Effect” Real?

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One of the things I love about being a relationships researcher is that I can sit down to watch a Hollywood flick and consider it productive timebecause it gives me so many great research ideas. Hollywood loves to investigate the inner workings of relationships and love, albeit not always with the most accurate or "empirically informed" lens. Take, for instance, the concept of support for romantic relationships. This is a widely studied topic in social psychology and has graced the screens of numerous Hollywood flicks. According to how love stories typically play out on the silver screen, love conquers all, opposites attract, and in-laws are terrifying creatures. For example, in The Notebook, Allie’s parents deceive Noah and Allie because sadly, Noah is from the "wrong side of the tracks"...

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Relationship Between Impulsiveness And Deviant Behavior Among Adolescents In The Classroom: Age And Sex Differences

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Abstract

To assess the relationship between impulsiveness and deviant behavior among 103 adolescents, taking into account their sociodemographic characteristics, the Barratt Impulsiveness Scale and a self-assessment measure with regard to disruptive and deviant behaviors which had occurred in the last 90 days were used. The results show that impulsiveness and disruptive behavior in the classroom were related to deviant behavior outside of the classroom. Therefore, age and sex explained the relationship between impulsiveness and behavior. The older adolescents and the girls showed less disruptive behaviors than the younger participants and the boys; both variables showed an interactive effect on disruptive behavior. The age at which sexual activity commenced and the number of sexual partners were also significantly related to impulsiveness and disruptive and deviant behavior. Similarly, impulsiveness was shown to have a significant relationship with disruptive and deviant behavior, and disruptive...

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A Qualitative Analysis of On-Again/Off-Again Romantic Relationships: “It’s Up and Down, All Around”

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Abstract

Although relational research predominantly conceptualizes romantic relationships as either together or apart, some relationships break up and renew (i.e., on-again/off-again relationships). Partners’ accounts of on-again/off-again relational experiences were qualitatively analyzed to explore both reasons for breakups and reasons for renewals. Themes were interpreted within an interdependence framework to explain why partners dissolved as well as renewed their relationships. The themes in combination suggest renewals occurred due to dissatisfying experiences with alternative relationship partners and an increase in outcomes (i.e., rewards minus costs) after breakups. Partners’ post-dissolution contact and their uncertainty about relational status may have further facilitated renewals. More generally, the themes suggest, for on-again/ off-again partners, breakups did not indicate the end of interdependence but rather a redefinition of the relationship...

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Ending Toxic Relationships Now

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A toxic relationship is a relationship that is emotionally damaging to at least one partner. Toxic relationships deplete you of your energy, infuse you with negativity, bring unnecessary drama or conflict to your life, trigger feelings of low self-esteem, insecurity, resentment, or frustration. Toxic relationships stifle your personal growth, make you feel less than, or even worthless outside of the relationship with the toxic counter-party. Toxic relationships consistently lead to these negative feeling states despite your concerted efforts to work out any such feelings and engage honestly anew.

It’s important to realize that toxic people are often unconsciously making you feel how they feel about themselves; in other words, it is more about them than it is about you. It’s important for all of us to routinely take inventory of our support systems and care enough...

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Limerence: When Is It More than Heartbreak?

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It's messy. It's passionate. And the first time usually hurts the most. We're of course discussing the all-consuming and universal experience of love. Robert Sternberg, the leading theorist on all things amorous, has added years to our lives—saving us from reruns of 90210 (Team Dylan) and rereads of Sweet Valley High—by uncovering the mechanisms that make our hearts tick. Sternberg's research presents us with the triangular theory of love (protractors not necessary), which affirms three key components as the foundation for the various types of love we endure throughout our lives.

The first side of this triangle is intimacy—feelings of communication, support, and friendship that characterize warm, loving relationships. The next is passion, which takes the shape of physical feelings of desire—essentially, the heat and intensity typical of the beginning stages of a relationship. And the third component, commitment, completes the triangle,...

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Alcohol Problems in Intimate Relationships: Identification and Intervention A Guide for Marriage and Family Therapists

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ALCOHOL PROBLEMS AND YOUR PRACTICE

AN ALCOHOL PROBLEMS FRAMEWORK

Since the 1930s, "alcoholics" — have been the primary focus of alcohol-related intervention efforts in the United States. While a focus on severe problems is typical of an initial societal response to a health problem,1 alcohol dependence represents only a small portion of the entire range of alcohol-related problems.2 Most drinking problems are of mild to moderate severity3 and are amenable to relatively brief interventions. In a report to the National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism (NIAAA), the Institute of Medicine (IOM)4 called for a "broadening of the base for treatment" and widespread adoption of an alcohol problems framework. This framework casts a wide net for treatment efforts, explicitly targeting individuals (or families) who currently are experiencing or are at risk for experiencing alcohol problems. Thus, therapists and health care professionals are asked to direct interventions not only to drinkers with alcohol use...

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The Peremarital Communication Roots of Marital Distress and Divorce: The First Five Years of Marriage

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Abstract

Using data from 210 couples who provided data across the first five years of marriage, we examined how premarital communication quality was related to divorce and later distress. The results showed that premarital observed negative and positive communication nearly reached significance as predictors of divorce, while self-reported negative communication was significantly associated with divorce. In terms of marital adjustment, we found that both premarital observed and self-reported negative premarital communication (but not observed positive communication) were associated with lower adjustment during the first five years of marriage. The most important questions addressed in this study pertain to how positive and negative dimensions of communication change over time and how these changes are related to being distressed or nondistressed after five years of marriage. This is the first study, to our knowledge, to examine the changes in communication over time that are so central to theories...

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Hormonal Birth Control Use And Relationship Jealousy: Evidence For Estrogen Dosage Effects

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Abstract:

Women who use hormonal contraceptives have been shown to report higher levels of jealousy than women who are regularly cycling. Here, we extend these findings by examining if self reported levels of jealousy vary with the dose of synthetic estrogen and progestin found in combined oral contraceptives in a sample of 275 women. A univariate ANOVA analysis revealed that higher levels of ethinyl estradiol were associated with significantly higher levels of self-reported jealousy. There was, however, no relationship between combined oral contraceptive progestin dose and reported jealousy levels. When controlling for age, relationship status, mood, and combined oral contraceptive progestin dose the results for ethinyl estradiol were maintained. A test for the interaction between the jealousy sub-scale items (reactive, possessive, and anxious jealousy) was however non-significant: ethinyl estradiol dose thus does not affect one type of jealousy more than another but rather affects overall jealousy....

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Czech Factors Related to Reproductive Coercion and Pregnancy Avoidance Among Women Experiencing Intimate Partner Violence

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Approximately 5% of US women have experienced reproductive coercion – an intimate partner trying to get them pregnant when they did not want to be (Black et al., 2011). Reported prevalence is higher (14-74%) in smaller community samples of women receiving services (Miller et al., 2010; Moore, Frohwirth, & Miller, 2010; Raphael, 2005). Associations with physical/sexual violence have been mixed (Messing & Thaller, 2012; Miller et al., 2010), though reproductive coercion was related to unintended pregnancy when physical violence was present (Miller et al., 2010). Reproductive coercion has also been associated with compromised sexual health decision-making (fear of refusing sex or asking a partner to use a condom; Messing & Thaller, 2012). There is need to investigate other factors associated with reproductive coercion and pregnancy avoidance among women experiencing intimate partner violence (IPV) to inform development of screening tools and targeted interventions....

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